


I Promise to Love You

by PrinceBrigan



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 20:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2786882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceBrigan/pseuds/PrinceBrigan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian had found out that Joseph has feelings for him when he heard their co- workers talking behind their backs. He confronted Joseph but their talk turned for the worse and they keep their distance except when it came to work related stuffs. It wasn't until Joseph was severely injured on one of their missions that he realized he really loved Joseph and can't afford to lose him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Promise to Love You

Sebastian walked back in the building after lunch, a full belly accompanying him. He nodded to a few of the people in the building as he made his way back to his and Joseph’s office. Stopping in front of his door he tried to go in, seemingly enough Joseph hadn’t come back from lunch yet. Digging his hands in his pocket he fished for his keys, listening to the conversation behind him.

“Hey did you hear about Oda?”   
“No, what about him?”  
“Well apparently Oda swings for the other team. Which honestly that’s no surprise because I’ve never seen a straight man dress as he does. The surprising part though is apparently he’s got a crush on Castellanos.”   
“You’re fucking with me.”   
“Nope. Apparently Oda told someone a while ago. They got drunk last night and spilled the beans.”   
“Holy shit, Castellanos is gonna be pissed.”

Sebastian gripped his key tightly, Joseph what? He couldn’t go on the word of some idiots, he’d have to confront him after work. Opening the door up he sat down and waited until the end of the day, keeping normal conversation up like he hadn’t heard a thing. Once five o’clock rolled around Joseph got up to leave but Sebastian stopped him.

“Hey Joseph, I wanna talk to you about something.”   
“Oh, what is it?”   
“I well…”

Sebastian scratched the back of his head, leaning back in his seat.

“Earlier today I heard a rumor.”   
“I didn’t expect you to be a man to listen to rumors.”   
“I was about you.”   
“Oh?”   
“Well apparently… You’re gay.”   
“Is that a surprise?”   
“Well no, not really but, it was also said that you have a crush on me.”

Joseph’s eyes widened as his breath quietened. He fumbled around looking for his keys, a rather uncharacteristic act.

“I… I don’t know what you mean.”   
“Don’t lie to me Joseph.”   
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about Sebastian, I have no such feelings for you.”  
“That’s a goddamn lie, the way you just broke character a moment ago proved that to me.”   
“Okay, so maybe I do, what the fuck are you going to do about it? It’s a stupid fucking crush that I know isn’t going to go anywhere.”   
“Why haven’t you told me this before?”  
“Because it’s pointless! Because I didn’t want to get my fucking heart broken because you’re going to reject me. I don’t understand why you’re so adamant in questioning, unless you aren’t going to reject me.”   
“No, I’m going to reject you. I’m indeed straight and have no interest in you whatsoever. You’re a really damn good partner and that’s how I want it to stay. If you can’t keep it like that then unfortunately I’m going to need you to make a request to move.”

Joseph’s face went from pain, to sadness, and finally to a look of neutrality.

“It won’t affect my work at all. This is why I didn’t want you to find out.”   
“Good, I’m leaving.”   
Joseph stood there in silence, letting Sebastian leave before him. A few moments later he closed the door and sat down, his head in his hands.

“This was only supposed to be a school boy crush, one that Sebastian never found out about. God fucking dammit.”

\-----  
The next more Joseph walked into the office without a word to Sebastian. Both of them worked endlessly without the usual banter they normally would have. Lunch was spent alone even though they both had finished working at the same time. The entire day was practically spent in silence. Even when the Chief came to talk to them they barely acknowledged each other. Later that day Joseph was paged into the Chief’s office.

“Hey Joseph. How are you?”   
“Hello Chief, I’m fine.”  
“Oh? Did anything happen between you and Detective Castellanos.”   
“Nothing of great significance. Why do you ask?”   
“Well, you two just seem off. Yesterday you two were laughing and joking with each other. Now today it’s like you two aren’t good friends, or something like that.”   
“Nothing is different between us. We’re the same as we always are.”   
“If you say so. But if it causes a problem on cases I’m going to have to reassign you guys.”   
“Nothing will happen Chief.”  
“Very well, you may leave now.”

Joseph bowed and left, a habit he had picked up from home. Sighing he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. Nothing had change huh? What a fucking lie, he barely talked to Sebastian all day. It was probably better this way. At least until his feelings went away.

Back in the office Sebastian twirled his pencil between his fingers, thinking intently. He really didn’t like how quiet Joseph was being, though he did say yesterday it would affect his work, which it wasn’t. If anything Joseph was getting more done than ever. Maybe rejecting Joseph wasn’t such a bad thing. I mean perhaps he’d still try to be friends with him. Once Joseph got back in the office Sebastian waited until almost the end of the day before actually talking to Joseph.

“Hey Joseph. You wanna go out drinking tonight with a couple of the guys?”

Joseph waited to answer, packing his things up first.

“No thank you. I’m going home. Have a good day Sebastian.”

Sebastian just shook his head and put his pencil down. So maybe talking to Joseph wasn’t the best idea. For the next couple of weeks Joseph had rejected every invitation Sebastian had given to him. Their conversations had begun to lessen dramatically. On cases Joseph rarely went to Sebastian to give information, instead relaying it to someone. As a matter of fact it had gotten bad enough that people in divisions outside of theirs had noticed. It was off putting to have the two detective partners not even once look at each other.

Several people had come up to both Sebastian and Joseph asking what was wrong, both brushed it off as nothing. Joseph seemed to be managing the entire situation like a champ. Sure he’d go home and have a drink or two, something he almost never did. He never got drunk, he wasn’t depressed about it, actually he didn’t have many feelings on the situation. Though now that he thought about it that was probably a very unhealthy way to cope. It didn’t matter though, he was getting through life day by day and that’s all the honestly mattered to him.

On the other hand Sebastian hated it, he hated Joseph ignoring him, he hated it being so silent in his office. The rides in the car together were agonizingly painful, they were quiet and almost slower. Sebastian several times wanted to just slam Joseph against the wall and kiss him just to make him fucking feel better, but he knew that was the worst choice he could make. He’d end up telling Joseph that the kiss meant nothing and the Joseph would be out of his life forever. His daughter Lily was gone, his wife disappeared and the only real friend he had was Joseph, he couldn’t let him leave.

“This is such a fucked up situation. If only I hadn’t overheard those assholes we wouldn’t be in this mess. I don’t even know what to do about it now.”

Sebastian took another sip of his scotch and switch channels on the tv, trying to find something to drown out his loneliness. He almost felt the same as when Myra disappeared. Sure Joseph was still there but _Joseph_ wasn’t there. It was extremely hard to explain and even harder to understand.

The rumors around the office were spreading like wild fire. A million different thoughts turned into a million irrational rumors that made no sense to the problem at hand. Several people turned to the assumption that Sebastian stole Joseph’s girlfriend, which absolutely contradicts the rumor (well not so rumor anymore) that Joseph is in fact gay. The things he heard around the office really ticked him off to no end. There were several times where he had to hold back a punch because of something he heard behind him. Honestly they were grown adults, most of them reaching their forties, was gossip all they had to live for anymore?

A few days later and Joseph was still acting the same, rejection to every proposal, and silence to every question. At this point Sebastian was just starting to accept it, thinking that things might never be the same again. Around lunch time they had gotten called into a meeting to brief them on the case they were about to head out too.

“Two thirty three year old females were murdered last night. They’re near the coffee shop on 2nd street, the scene has been taped off but no witnesses have been found. We don’t have information on the females yet, the medical examiner is still trying to decipher who they are. They both have gunshot wounds to the heart. Bleeding out seems to be their cause of death. No reason seems to have been found for the killing, until we find out who they are on the other hand we won’t really know. I’d like you guys to head out on the scene to go ahead and take a look. Be careful though the killer could still be around there.”

They both nodded and left the building, another silent car ride taken. Once on the scene they split up immediately, Joseph going to talk to the medical examiner and a few other people while Sebastian scoped out the area. He made sure to keep a close eye on the surrounding streets just incase an unwanted person happened to show up there. A while later an officer came up to him, telling him news about the females that Joseph told him.

“Their names are Marie Clarence and Fire Allen. They died of a shot to the heart at a distance. The killer hasn’t been found yet still. We’re currently sweeping the area to see if there are any fingerprints that can help us figure it out.”   
“Thank you officer, you’re doing a fine job.”

After about thirty minutes they still hadn’t come up with anything. Sebastian had gone to the car to radio the chief and Joseph kept around the officers, paying attention to anything they might have found. During the briefing he heard a sound strangely like a gunshot then voices start yelling. Turning around he saw Joseph clutching his side, falling quickly to the ground. It took him a few moments to realize what just happened… Joseph had been shot. He threw the radio in the car and ran to where Joseph was now lying, looking for any trace of a human being, he didn’t see anything, he didn’t know where to look. Finally taking a glance at Joseph he cringed, there was blood pooling around his body, a contorted look scrunched across his face. Bending down he looked at Joseph, worry falling across his face.

“Hey, hey Joseph look at me. You’re gonna be alright okay. Don’t sweat this, it’s an easy fix and you’ll be right out of the hospital and back on the job.”

Sebastian’s face betrayed his words, though he was pretty sure Joseph knew that this wasn’t just nothing. Moments later medics picked Joseph up and placed him on the gurney, taking him into the ambulance and heading off to the hospital. Sebastian just sat there in silence, staring where the ambulance used to be.

“Hey, Joseph’s gonna be alright, right Connelly?”   
“I don’t want to lie to you Detective Castellanos, but he didn’t look to be in okay condition. The bullet seemed to be incredibly close to his heart.”   
“That’s not what I fucking asked you Connelly, I asked if Joseph is going to be fucking okay!”   
“No Detective, I don’t think he’s going to be okay.”

That was exactly what Sebastian did not want to hear. He didn’t want to even think about Joseph dying when they were both acting like this. He hadn’t had a good talk with Joseph in weeks. Sure it was probably all his fault to start with, and Joseph had promised that it wouldn’t affect their work, but he wished it didn’t affect their personal life either. He missed the damn male, he missed the times they would spend together, he just missed it all. A moment later he felt a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it, looking up he saw the chief, someone he didn’t expect.

“Hey, I heard about what happened to Joseph. Why don’t you go to the hospital and wait for news on him.”   
“Yeah, thanks Chief.”

Sebastian got up from the ground, heading towards his cruiser.

“Oh and Sebastian?”   
“Yeah?”   
“Try and make up with Joseph before anything else happens. You two have been lying to me for weeks and I don’t appreciate it. Whatever happened it’s not worth losing a partner like Joseph over. Or at least it’s not worth living with the regret that you two never made up before he died. Something I don’t believe can happen because he’s strong, but the possibility is still in the universe.”

Sebastian balled his fists, trying not to punch his car.

“Joseph isn’t going to die Chief, he’s not going to fucking die.”

With that Sebastian got in the car and flicked on his lights, speeding off to the hospital. When he got there he was instructed to wait in the waiting room on floor four, a nearly three and a half hour wait. Around hour two he started to pace the room, unable to stay still for long. During that time a mix of emotions rolled through his mind.

_Okay so I’m going to assume that Joseph is in surgery. He’s been in there for a really long fucking time so I’m not sure what to think right now. Oh god what if he dies in there. I’m not going to be able to ask for his forgiveness. He’s going to have died thinking that I hate him. I don’t hate him, I don’t fucking hate Joseph. Joseph means more to me than anyone on this planet anymore. Well I suppose he means as much to me as Myra does, I’m not accepting that she’s dead. Although now that I think about it Joseph may mean more… No that’s impossible._

“Sebastian Castellanos?”

Sebastian snapped out of his trance and looked at the doctor who was addressing him.

“Yes?”  
“I got word saying I should talk to you about matters with Josephs Oda.”   
“That’s correct.”   
“Well he’s in critical condition right now. I can’t say right now if he’s going to live or die. It’s all up to his will power and how fast he heals. The bullet nearly pierced his heart, it cause some severe bleeding and damage to his ribs. He’s stitched up but we aren’t exactly sure how long they’re going to hold due to where they are. All we can do is wait to see where he goes from here.”   
“Can I see him?”   
“I suppose. As long as it’s only you it should be fine.”   
“Yeah, it’ll be just me.”

The doctor led Sebastian to Joseph’s room and held the door open for him. He did a few things before he left, leaving Sebastian alone with Joseph. Surprisingly enough Joseph was awake.

“Hey Joseph.”   
“Hnnn.”   
“How’re you feeling?”   
“How the fuck do you think I’m feeling?”  
“Fuck i’m sorry Joseph.”   
“Why are you even here anyways?”  
“I wanted to make sure my partner was alright.”   
“Well look, I’m fine, now leave.”

Sebastian looked away, not liking the tone in which Joseph spoke to him, it was harsh. Much harsher than he’d ever heard Joseph speak before. Maybe Joseph hated him now, though he wouldn’t be surprised honestly.

“Joseph, look I’m worried about you.”   
“Leave. Now.”

Sebastian shook his head and started to walk out, hand on the door he turned to look back at Joseph.

“Joseph, I just want you to know I don’t hate you.”

With that he left, standing against the wall outside the door.

“Fuck.”

Standing there he tried to calm down, hearing something he didn’t want to hear at wall. Joseph practically started to scream, arching his back, the heart monitor started to freak out until it eventually flatlined. Fear rooted Sebastian in his spot even after the doctors came to rush Joseph back into surgery. A little while later a nurse came to help Sebastian back to the waiting room, telling him that a doctor would be out in a while to tell him the news. News that Sebastian was extremely afraid of. Waiting was agonizing, something he did not want to do anymore. Fortunately his phone started to ring, a break from the situation at hand.

“Hello.”  
“Hey Sebastian, how’s joseph?”   
“Oh Chief. Well he got out of surgery only to flat line and be rushed right back in.”   
“What about your talk, could you talk?”

Sebastian took a breath, trying to calm himself.

“The minute I got in the room he told me to get out. I couldn’t even get the chance to talk to him.”   
“That’s not like him, you must have done something to piss him off extremely.”   
“Thank you for reminding me about what I did.”   
“Do you mind telling me?”  
“It’s not very work appropriate.”   
“I’m asking this as a friend, not your boss.”   
“... I heard a rumor that Joseph had a crush on me. So I confronted him about it. The conversation didn’t exactly go the way either one of us has planned. I kinda forced him to tell me the truth even though we both knew I was going to reject him. He told me that this information wasn’t going to affect work. I might have also told him that if it did I’d have him moved to another detective.”   
“Are you honestly that stupid Sebastian?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Sebastian if you can’t realize it yourself I have no business telling you. Let’s hope that Joseph makes it out safely. I’m afraid what you’re going to do if he dies and you finally realize.”

With that they both hung up, leaving Sebastian extremely confused. Putting his head in his hands he sighed, a million thoughts crossing his mind. What the fuck did the Chief mean? What wasn’t he realizing? This time Sebastian waited for a good four hours before the news came.

“Mr. Castellanos?”   
“Yes?”  
“Detective Joseph Oda is not going to make it through the night. We’ve done all we can. It seems that he doesn’t want to live anymore. It’s been up to him since we’ve patched him up. He’s fixed, any normal person would be fine after a few months. Go and say your goodbyes. If he flat lines we’ll try one more time, but I can’t promise anything.”

Sebastian took no time in heading to the room where Joseph was located. Stepping in he nearly stopped, there was a noticeable difference from the first time he saw Joseph. He seemed much paler, his eyes slightly sunken in. He just looked tired, tired of everything.

“Joseph you can’t force me to leave. I don’t know what is going on in your head right now but I don’t hate you, I never have hated you. I don’t want things to end like this. Joseph, please talk to me.”   
“You threatened to have me moved if I made my feelings for you affect our work. Do you think I’m not going to be pissed after that. In one moment you broke my heart and ruined any chance of us trying to me normal.”   
“Look Joseph I didn’t mean it okay. I didn’t mean any of it. You’re the best partner I’ve ever had. You’re the greatest friend I’ve ever had. You’ve had my back since Myra disappeared, you’ve always let me come into your home late at night when I was drunk and too sad to stay at mine. You’ve helped me through every aspect of my damn life and I appreciate it. What I said I didn’t really mean. I’m so confused right now. I don’t know what I’m feeling and I don’t know how to act. I’m so fucking confused Joseph, please don’t shut me out anymore.”   
“Hah, funny you finally decided to figure things out now that I’m on my goddamn death bed. Real productive of you Sebastian. You could have figured this out before I fucking got shot.”

Sebastian moved in closer, shaking his head.

“You’re not gonna fucking die Joseph. You’re not gonna leave me to find another partner, that’s not about to happen. I’m pretty sure I need you in my life.”   
“Pretty sure doesn’t exactly sound sure to me. And honestly Sebastian I just don’t wanna try anymore. Even before you confronted me about my crush, even before I really knew I had a crush on you I just sometimes go tired of living. This is almost the perfect excuse to stop breathing.”   
“Fuck you Joseph, don’t you fucking say that ever again. You need to live, if not for you then fucking live for me. I don’t want you to go, you can’t go… I don’t know what to do if you’re gone. I can’t lose you too, I can’t lose another person I care about. Maybe I don’t know how exactly I care about you, but fucking hell Joseph I still care about you.”

Sebastian waited for Joseph to reply, but all he ever got was quiet breathing, breathing that seemed to get quieter and quieter until finally the piercing sound came from his heart monitor.   
_No, no not now. Fucking Joseph stay with me._

He couldn’t find his voice, only watching as Joseph was once again wheeled out of the room. In those last moments Sebastian finally realized something, he couldn’t lose Joseph, and he finally figured out why. Running out of the room he looked down the hall where Joseph was being wheeled.

“Joseph you have to live. I promise you, I promise I can fall in love with you. Please, please don’t fucking leave me.”

For the first time in years Sebastian felt tears slip down his face. Wiping his face he walked out of the hospital, trying to keep it together. He couldn’t wait around to hear if Joseph was going to make it or not, he couldn’t sit around as people watched him break down. Finding his car he took a breath and got inside, and once again, for the first time in years Sebastian broke down. Once he was well enough to drive he drove home, forgetting about checking in at work, forgetting about everything. He just walked into his house and fell down onto his couch, trying to ignore the world.

A couple hours later Sebastian woke up to his phone ringing, groaning he rubbed at his eyes and fished for his phone, looking at the caller id. It was the Chief.

“What’s up?”

He was met with silence on the other line.

“Chief.”   
“... I’m alive.”

Sebastian sat up, his eyes widening. His voice caught in his throat and the only thing he could think to do was to hang up and speed to the hospital. He didn’t care if it was past visiting hours, clearly they had been extended or something if the Chief was there. He also didn’t care that people kept yelling on him to stop running. He just didn’t fucking care about anything. Sebastian practically broke the door trying to open it. The Chief was trying to hold back a laugh, sneaking out of the room as to let the two have their own time.

“You fucking bastard.”

Sebastian walked over to Joseph and gave him a hug, being as careful as he could with the male.

“What you said before you left… Is that true?”   
“Yes it’s fucking true. Goddammit Joseph, don’t you scare me like that again.”   
“I’m sorry Sebastian.”

The two sat there and talked until Joseph needed to get some sleep. It took Joseph another three months before he could return to work. Sebastian hated working without him but at least he knew he was coming back. He’d go home to Joseph and make sure everything was okay with him. He really kinda babied the younger man but neither of them really cared. When Joseph returned to work everyone was extremely relieved to find out that they had gone back to their usual banter, their stupid fights, but with a little added PDA here and there. Apparently the Chief and a few others had a bet on whether they would get together, lets just say that the chief ended up going home five hundred dollars richer.

Even at work Joseph still had to be careful, he couldn’t do anything extremely strenuous yet which is why they weren’t on field duty yet. Joseph would still research the victims and give the information to whichever detective was on the field, but he was mainly restricted to the office. At some point Sebastian finally admitted to Joseph that he was officially falling in love with him, he hadn’t gotten there yet but he was going to soon. Their lives didn’t end in perfect harmony. They both still had the chance to get injured on duty, which they had several times afterwards, they’d gotten into fights, they’d not talk to each other for a few days, but in the end they always went back to each other. To each of them the other was priceless, something neither of them wanted to lose. Sebastian and Joseph had each others back, to the very end.


End file.
